I want to stick my p in your. b.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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