i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize