I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
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I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
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How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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