Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
