turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
