i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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