I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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