Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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