i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
