I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
