There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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