i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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