i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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