Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
