I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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