So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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