ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
