it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
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