so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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