You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
