I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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