I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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