My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
