he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
