I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
