if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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