dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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