Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
