Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I want a musical about memes.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
