Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
