when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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