Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
