wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
