That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
