I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
