It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize