Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize