so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
