i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
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I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
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Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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