so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
