im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
