remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
