Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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