what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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