Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
