Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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