who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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