You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just want nice things and good sex
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
