It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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