is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I can't put those talents on a resume
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
