im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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