At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
