have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
whose ass print is on the piano?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
