I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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