you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
