I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
