Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Are we still banned from the library?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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