I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize