I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My first STD was from a foam party
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
