Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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