hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Do vagina's smell?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
