Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
