Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
