god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
