Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
