We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize