Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
