There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
