Only a mothe r could love this liver
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
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So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
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While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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