I just saw a hot homeless man
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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