My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
