the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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