already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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