Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
